Friday Night Lights Shouldn't Mean Lights Out!

Okay, let's start with a disclaimer.  I was in the marching band. 

So stadium lights in HS on Saturday night were MUCH more important for the band than those for the football squad.... and that reflects a bigger problem here in the bosom of suburbia and beyond across the entire US landscape.

The "news" this week is that an overpaid football star (two or actually even more) was physically abusive to their spouse.  Very much so.  Not a minor problem at all, especially given the NFL willingness to sweep it under the rug.   And, tonight, another "star" has been brought up on felony abuse charges after using a "switch" on their very young son.  And both still aren't behind bars or shunned by all of their "fans".

These athletes are quote, unquote "skill" players.  Stars in the NFL.  And that status all the more explains what is happening.

I went to a great academically focused liberal arts college, Muhlenberg College.  The thing people remember about the school is how it prepped folks for secondary degrees, especially MD, DO, DMD, JD, MBA.  In other words, its prestige was for its academic output and not its football squad.  Thank God!

There are high schools all over America where being the big football star gets you all kinds of extra treatment and education support (e.g. better grades than you should earn) higher than does the greatest clarinet player in the entire county.  Be the best academic student MIGHT get you a great scholarship to college, but be the best tight end, wide receiver or quarterback at a good size HS and you get a full free ride at some college.  That's just messed up.

The "Big 10", SEC conference and all manner of other college NCAA sports machines generate all kinds of $$ from their sports programs, with football being the biggest money machine of them all.  If you get picked to be a "student athlete", you are in for one of the most protected, unbelievable ill-conceived, rides of your life.

That undue dependence on sports means that an unduly "macho" violence oriented (and not at all tacitly supported) culture emerges where those with superior athletic skills are mean that student is given all kinds of help not available to the next super software designer or biologist (who creates a world saving food solution) elsewhere in that university.  

These "student athletes"  (and they are all young men) are given one forgiveness after another for treating others poorly, poor academic performance, and disrespect for others (and especially women).  They are reinforced for their violence, their swagger, their dominance.  After all, its what helps them succeed on the gridiron (or the boards, or the ice, etc., etc.)  And so, we breed an aggressive, often violent, group of "ordained" men who are encouraged to be tyrants and sociopathic in their violence.  Except, they aren't called that.  They are called world class athletes.

And so we create these violent, self-centered beings and are shocked ("shocked"!!!!) when they are violent toward the vulnerable in their lives.  Truth - we created and endorsed that perspective and they live out what they were encouraged to be.  AND - even worse, they are often role-models for young men all across the country who see their behavior as something to emulate vs. be repulsed at.

So, back to marching band.  Our local suburban township board of education sent out a brochure encouraging voters to support lighting our HS football field.  And it had some great points, like protecting the safety of our "student athletes".  

Except for two things.  

The band, which has brought home many more championships than any of the sports teams, was not mentioned at all as benefiting from the lights (all their local competitors have field lights) AND not one word was spent on how the maintenance and ongoing power needs costs for those lights would be funded.  I know - we will.  

So, once more, we idolize our athletes.  Encourage them to be macho and aggressive men and women.  And then we "shocked", "just shocked" when one of them takes that endowed sense of violence out against one of the more vulnerable in their life.

Well, its time to stop.  Enough with full force endorsement of the violence generated out of a sense of privilege.  If you want to be in the varsity level band, you better have the grades with out any special supports.  It you want to play Div I NCAA sports, guess what?  You have to pass English 101 without a special class or lenient professor.

And if you are a scholarship level athlete, you need to be held to an even higher standard of behavior just to make sure you know that you have no endowed privilege to be abusive, sexist, or violent.  

Oh, and back to the marching band.  It is never okay to use your body to shove around the trombone player.  

It was their turn for 8 minutes of glory you insolent offe.  You get 60 minutes (+ an unbearable amount of commercials) to show your stuff.  Leave the band geeks alone.  Odds are they will be making a great life and better income long after your knees are screaming at you to have been a science major instead of a "sports science" major.

One band, one sound!  There's a group of champions - with a GPA to knock your valves off.  GO BAND.

The Sounds of Silence and .... Sirens

If you are outdoors on any given spring/summer/fall weekend day in suburbia the first sound that will probably come to your ears will be the buzzing of small gas engines attached to some kind of lawn mower, tractor, or edger.  Dads, moms, daughters, sons on tractors, push mowers and other devices of grass mono-culture.  You'll probably find me somewhere out there with the crowd.
  

Night time in suburbia sounds like..... actually not much.  Its quiet and, even on temperate weather day when the windows are open, still very quiet.  Barking dogs are brought inside or quieted by their nature or their owners.  Occasionally, you will hear music and laughter from a backyard or pool party, but by 10 or 11, all is done and quiet.

Sirens are rare and cause for consideration that it could be someone you know.  Trucks are the trash trucks, landscaper trucks and a few UPS/Fed-Ex vans that come and go early and aren't heard from again.  Buses are not in the neighborhoods and just not heard when they go by on the main roads outside the development.  

When the temperature climbs windows and shades close and you can add the continual hum of outside air conditioner units.  And not much more.  The number of neighbors outside drops to the same low as seen on very cold winter day.  Once again, the quiet reigns and, at times, can be stifling in the lack of personal connection inherent in it.

But, here's the thing - I grew up in the city for most of my childhood.  And travel to cities on business as an adult.  Night time in the city is different.  

Day time in the city offers car horns, trucks and buses.  Sirens from police  and fire are routinely heard.  Trash service is usually a municipal service and runs a larger part of the day. At night, these sounds continue and, unfortunately, are, in some neighborhoods punctuated by sounds of gunfire or other signs of someone in peril.  

On hot nights, more folks are outside and you can routinely hear kids outside playing day and night once you get off the main streets and into the neighborhoods.  In the summer block parties and outdoor BBQs connect neighbors and families.  Apartment buildings lead to hallway encounters while getting the mail from the hallway box.

Even in the city, though, it is an effort to connect.  Its easier to keep your head down and do what you need to do.  Don't make eye contact - don't talk unless you need to.    And that's exactly like in the suburbs (except maybe at the entrance to a WaWa - see my prior blog entry).

The challenge in both neighborhoods - suburban or city, is for us to stay connected to our neighbors.  Friends we want as friends, others we want just as acquaintances.  Whichever category they fall in, let them know that we are all together in support of each other, whether its noisy or quiet.    Reach out to one another.  Know who your neighbors are.  Fight the barriers offered by the noise or the quiet so that we all know we are connected in the light of day or dark of night.

Hometown? What's that mean to a suburbanite?

When I first started using Facebook, I set up a profile and one of the things they  asked was what was your "hometown".  That one stumped me and I bet it has for lots of folks in cities, towns, hamlets, and even here in the bosom of suburbia.

See, my parents are from Brooklyn.  That's their hometown even though they haven't been there in 30-40 years.   You ask them and they say it clearly and with out hesitating.  

Bruce Springsteen had that feeling in his song "My Hometown".  Bruce Springsteen - My Home Town The inherent pessimism of the song, as well as the longing it are not quite the feeling one thinks of when posting a hometown on Facebook.  It references scenes (in my mind, at least) of Freehold, NJ, about 10 minute from one of my home towns, Monroe Township, NJ.  A nice enough town, but still not the ideal "American" little town.

You could go with Paul Simon and Art Garfinkel singing about "My Little Town" - a really pessimistic view  Simon & Garfunkel - My Little Town singing about the dead and dying in their old town.  I'm not grooving that either.   

Here's the thing, I've lived in lots of places:  I'm not sure what to put down. I was born in Elizabeth, NJ, lived in Jersey City, Monroe Township, Frederick, MD (actually Braddock Heights area), Allentown, PA for college, one summer break in Beaufort, SC, one summer in Memphis, TN, a year or so in Rockledge, PA, Willow Grove, PA, Warrington, PA, Hatfield Township, PA and now in Worcester PA. And, its the last one that I have lived in the longest. Any advice?  What should I put as the absolute home town?

With my brother, Lars, in Jersey City

Monroe Twp, NJ 6th grade.

Some say you should put where you are now, others say you should put your high school town, but I have two of those, both of which are very important to me.  Others say that home is where your heart is.  We've lived in this area around Lansdale, the bosom of suburbia outside of Philly for 20+ years, so maybe that should be my official "home-town"??  

Any number of other songs work on this challenge.  "Our House in the Middle of Our Street" Our House is our Castle & Our Keep but that one seems to gloss over a number of things and also makes fun of the shelter a house can be as we grow up.

Home and hometown are a continually resonating theme.  On American Idol, a winner's big launch hit was about it  - http://youtu.be/HoRkntoHkIE.  I like this one, it has the longing and caring about the person you want to bring to your home, but something is too syrupy in it for me.  

Ancient rock and roll touched it often, including this gem from Simon and Garfunkel:  Homeward Bound by Simon and Garfunkel .  It expresses a sense of being exhausted by the initial bumps of life and heading toward the shelter and love one needs to be restored before facing the world again.

Even old Hollywood standards, like the Wizard of Oz, tap into this root.  http://youtu.be/zJ6VT7ciR1o   Dorothy's wishes are in her hands all along, but she needed to leave Kansas for some other things to realisze the value home had for her.  

1977 "Styling" TJ HS
Grad Picture

So why all this wondering and wandering?  Today I went to the Englishtown Auction (which doesn't have any type of auction), one of the country's largest flea markets.  Its an amazing mix of junk and treasures, cultures from all over the walls, bargains and rip-offs and may other things in between.  Lunch was Filipino grilled pork on a stick and all American sweet tea.  Not what you could find there in 1974 at all.

After lunch I left the "auction" and drove around Monroe Township and environs where I lived from 6th grade until moving in the summer after my 10th grade.  I drove past my grammar school (where I wore very stylish (for 1974) white loafers under my dark blue graduation gown, my high school (which is now the middle school), the church where I was confirmed (a much enlarged, beautiful looking place).  Lots of the area was changed, but lots were the same.  It all seemed bigger when I was there as a kid, but ironically, it is all smaller than I imagined and I am bigger (around the middle) than I was then.

So, where is your "home-town"?  For me, it's here, where I have lived for 20+ years, its Monroe Township, NJ, and its Frederick, MD.  Its okay to have 3 hometowns, I hope, because I am sticking with that.  I have too many folks I love and loved in every single one of them to let one be picked over the other as being the "place I come from".

So, if you are sitting in Bangalore, Beijing, Sidney,  Oslo,  Baghdad, Rome or some where in the bosom of suburban Mexico City, you have a home town and a home, and maybe, just maybe the difference or names of the two don't matter at all. 

After all, its all where you are is and has been shaped - hurt or loved, changed or solidified.  Its all in you and part of how you interact in the world.  And maybe, just maybe, we all have the same "home-town" - our world, with all its bumps, bruises, joys and triumphs.  We are all neighbors, and that gives us a moment to consider caring for each other in way we would only do for the family next door.

So, where are you from........??? 

Homeward Bound by Simon & Garfunkel

There's No Place Like Home

Phillip Phillips - Home

Madness - Our House

Simon & Garfunkel "My Little Town" Live in Sydney 21 June 2009

Bruce Springsteen - My Hometown

Corruption or how things work?

Sitting in the bosom of suburbia in the highest per capita county in Pennsylvania can give one a false sense of the American dream being intact and strong as ever.  All of those living around here are living that dream.  Most have houses nicer than their parents and definitely nicer than those of their grand parents.

So, how does the current US government/finance interaction have importance to their lives?  If  a company (as now sheltered by the People United Supreme Court decision) wants to speak in its own interest in elections, they are free to do so, as much as any labor union, religious organization, 501(c)3 organization.

So, for those living the "dream", why should we worry? Why?  Because we are living in the latter days of Rome.  The oligarchs are running our lives and we are encouraging them to do that.

Here's an example.  Each school district needs to pay for new schools or renovating older, energy inefficient, or unsafe schools.  They "float" a bond issue to get the cash to fund it immediately and pay it off over time.  Guess what?  The interest rate they are paying is higher than it should/could be.  Why?  Because a small number of very rich banking executives in Britain set the LIBOR rate for borrowing $$ which will affect every municipal loan percentage in our country.   Their recent conviction and parliamentary convictions has not been loudly communicated via the American press on its impact to our local governments.

School districts lay off teachers, build lesser buildings.  Townships hire few police officers or municipal service workers and deliver less services.    Why?  Because a lot of people assume its just the poor US economy.  This financial status didn't just happen.  It was allowed to occur by elected and non-elected government officials across the political spectrum at all levels whose political and personal financial interests motivate them to keep their mouth's shut or, worse, manipulative for those interests, keeps the public from understanding that they are being screwed, not only at the national level, but at the local bosom of suburbia level, as well as inter-city, county, state, and national levels.

So -- very few elected officials are being disposed like the very corrupt president of the Ukraine.  Putin is one of the wealthiest persons in the world, despite having been a civil servant most of his career.  The ultimate leader in N. Korea lives in luxury while his people starve and have been convinced that their leader should be held above themselves, the laws of common humanity, or of any country not fully suppressing their people with via, harsh, military and security apparatus.

So, sitting here in my warm, safe, dry, well lit home in the bosom of suburbia, what should I think?  Is this how things work?  Am I being overly idealistic to expect our leaders in both government and business to have the general well being of their constituencies be priorities in their work activities?  I mean, we are okay..... at least for now.  One enormous set of medical bills or work income collapse and we are screwed.  But for now, I can think that isn't a likely reality.

Does corruption belong as an organic part of any country's political and leadership processes?  Is there some level that makes it work better?  Is it idealistic to think it should never occur?

So?  What do you think?  I think that a level of corruption happens in any system, but that here in the USA, it's drifting upward to a level beyond what is good for the general populace. AND its not a republican/democratic, left/right, liberal/conservative issue, despite well funded sources on both sides efforts to convince of just that.

What we need now, are leaders of high independent character, no matter what political, social or financial perspective.  Their focus should be on making our country and our world be better based on decisions and words driven  by only their passion for our country and world.

Gladiators or Athletes

I like pro-football - there I said it.  But, I am definitely not sure that I should at all.  So here's the deal.........

The men playing this sport are mostly young (under 30) and somewhere soon after their 30th birthday, their career as an NFL player is over - some times due to eroding speed, skills, or commitment, but more often than I think we know it's because they have been injured too many times or one time very badly.  

By their late 40s, many have terrible arthritis in their knees, hips, etc.  By their 50's or sooner, the repeated concussions, and other brutal elements of the game lead some to dementia, alzheimers and other serious health issues, some of which are life threatening.

But year on year we (as a nation) send our sons off to pee-wee football, middle/high school football and, if they are really skilled, to Division One University programs where everything about their lives is about getting them to the large stadiums (coliseums) to fight the (Nittany) Lions, BullDogs, Screaming Eagles, and other teams.  All of this sacrifice goes without a salary.  In Div I, you'll get medical care from doctors paid by the University to get you back on the field or off the roster.

If you get injured and can't heal up to return to the arena, pouf goes your "student athlete" scholarship, tutors, free meal plan, time in the glory lights of the 90-100K seat coliseum of the "educational institution", all covered in big $$$ TV contracts, as well as oversized amounts of advertising, none of which explain the Krebs cycle or anything else useful outside of the arena.  You are officially up S%## creek without a paddle.

If you survive the college level gladiator battles, you can get paid for being a professional athlete and have a contract giving you 1-3 years (or 1 game) of promised income, but in exchange you give your body and soul to the big dollar machine that is the NFL in the US.

The doctors are the teams doctors (who advertise themselves as the "Official xxxx of the yyyy Team name).  If I had a job that required that much medical staff on site at my workplace, I would probably reconsider the quality of the job I have worked so hard to get.  But these gladiators don't.  They fight in the arena and do get injured, even paralyzed, but almost always are in terrible pain  (good thing they have the medics right there).  BTW - if my office had to have an x-ray machine in the offices, I would also find that very blood chilling (oh, wait that stuff is in the refrigerator).

And its not just football.  I was watching the outdoor NHL hockey game called the Winter Classic and there was no way to miss the resemblance to the Roman Gladiators coming out to slaughter...... whoever they can.

I could add a number of other sports examples, but this blog entry is too long already.  

So, where is this all heading?

Can the barbaric treatment / self inflicted harm on these young men being eliminated by replacing them with robo-athletes?  I am pretty sure the ratings would crash - and that's one ugly conclusion - that we prefer to see human flesh in brutal battles than robots.

So, next time your son asked if the player laying on the football field is hurt badly, don't say he's not.  He probably is.  Badly.

Keeping it real that these are genuinely violent events (not really JUST a game) is the first step to figuring out why all the TVs here in the bosom of suburbia spend all day Saturday and Sunday (and Monday night and next season, Thursday night) tuned to football games.   I sure hope we figure out why and that we (and I) consider the nature and value of these "sports" and the gladiator athletes on their fields or ice rinks.

Coda:  I know there are women involved in all of these sports and I am sure they are being used by this system, but that is a whole 'nother blog entry.